I don't know why I've decided to write this here. Probably because the people who might read this don't know me in real life. That means you won't read this either. Is this a way of not letting go of my feelings for you? It's been almost two months. I suppose I need to let all these feelings out one way or another.

The things I miss about you

1. Your hands, and the way they often felt cold.
2. The way you looked at me from the side, clueless.
3. Your lips, and your smiles after we kissed.
4. Your smile, that beautiful smile made of pearl beads.
5. The way you nervously asked me to say something when I was quiet for a while.
6. Your thoughts, so complicated when you thought of yourself, so straightforward about everything else.
7. Your letters.
8. Your text messages.
9. The time we spent together.
10. The things we'd agree on.
11. Your hair.
12. Your scent.
13. The way you hung onto me when we travelled on the metro.
14. Your stories about your classmates.
15. The things you'd teach me.
16. The day when you told me you loved me for the first time.
17. The way you made my heart beat faster with just one look.
18. Your sense of humor.
19. Your fears and insecurities.
20. The day we went out and I brought some cake for you, and then I went to the metro station to give it to you, and we kissed for so long.
21. The day when we first met. I must confess I often stand at the very same place where I stood that day, october 30th, and look among the crowd hoping to see you again.

These days I've met some beautiful, smart, charming women, but they're at a loss when I compare them to you. I'm not sure how I feel when I think of you. Sometimes it's painful, sometimes it brings me a strange sense of joy. I can't get over you.